Day 12. Mile 2600. Oakley, KS.

So we went to the Underground Salt Museum. Now that I have your attention, let’s start at the top:

We started driving north, and near Yoder we could not ignore the sign to the Underground Salt Museum. First we stopped for brunch at the Carriage Crossing Restaurant and Bakery. When Julia noticed me staring at the waitresses she said “I know what you’re thinking - they all look the same”. Actually, I was thinking that the Amish waitress was pretty hot. Now, I want to clarify - of course, I like looking at pretty women, but more than that I enjoy all those little funny thoughts. For example, there’s nothing more cheesy than a hot Amish waitress, is there? There are music videos directors that built their entire career on them. I wonder if she actually does go home after a shift, listen to Aerosmith in her headphones as she lets her hair down, in slow motion, of course. I had more of these thoughts, but they were cut off when Chris Griffin, the Family Guy kid showed up and started cleaning the tables.

We had our brunch and moved on to the Underground Salt Museum, one of Kansas’s eight wonders (!!). Sarcastic, parenthesized exclamation marks aside - the museum is pretty cool. Over 600 ft. underground, it shows you around the salt mines. This salt is mostly used to clear snow off the roads.

Because of the dry, stable climate in the mine, they use the mines also as storage area, for anything from documents to film sets and costumes. This is one of 20 “Agent Smiths” used in the final battle scene of the 3rd Matrix movie:

We also took “the dark ride”, a cool, slow ride around the mines with a funny guide: “To your left, you’ll notice a wooden stand with a fire extinguisher. Salt is not flammable, but you know what is? wooden stands with fire extinguishers on them”.

We then drove on. We stopped by the Barbed Wire Museum in La Crosse, KS. It was closed, but there was some interesting art outside:

With one Kansas wonder down and seven more to go (but they will have to wait) we drove on, but we made the classic mistake of driving too late with too little gas and too far from civilization. We were getting a little nervous. Finally we found a gas station that I believe was actually a left-behind set from a David Lynch movie: surrounded by complete darkness, with the single light, the rattling flag post in the strong wind… the works.

We stopped for the night in stinky Oakley, KS, and I say that not because it’s a bad town. I say that just because it smells really bad. 

Day 6: Pennsylvania

It was time to head back north to pick up Julia’s for our meeting in the french consulate in Boston. I wanted to take a different route than the one I used to get to Baltimore, so following my cousin’s advice, I started driving towards the finger lakes in NY.

In Pennsylvania, I drove along the Susquehanna river. I saw some Amish women having a picnic on the river bank.

I thought it would be nice to have my own lunch on the river bank, but had no food. I then passed an Amish farmer’s market, and then a general store. I started driving back, picking up some bread, cheese and salami in the general store, vegetables at the farmer’s market and looked for a place to eat, not before accidentally stepping into an auction of produce.

 

I stopped in a parking area on the river bank, made some Israeli salad, and my lunch was ready.

I kept on driving, and found myself in “Reptiland”. I had to go in and check it out. It’s a small zoo dedicated, of course, to reptiles. They had a couple of crocodiles, tons of lizards and snakes, a butterfly garden where you hang out with a bunch of butterflies flying all around you, and the ugliest animal I’ve ever seen - an Alligator Snapping Turtle:

In the back, they had some robotic, full scale dinosaurs. One was even squirting water out of its mouth.

Because I got distracted from my course so much, I reached the finger lakes much later than I planned to. I stopped at Taughannock falls.

I then took a walk on a trail. In Israel, when you walk along a marked trail and that trail splits into two different trails, those are marked in different colors. Here, they both have the same color, making it impossible for you to know whether or not you’re walking in circles. Also, I lost the trail markings after a few minutes. Just as I realized that - I saw a deer. Now - my instinct told me to follow the deer, but then the voice of reason spoke to me - I will not fall for that, I’ve watched too many movies. When you’re lost, the last thing you should do is follow the deer. It’s a bait, luring you deeper into the forest, getting you even more lost, and turning you into the perfect victim for the Taughannock witch, or the Taughannock chainsaw murderer. I turned back and found the trail.

After walking for way too long, I found myself in an open field, with two shacks. One of them had a creepy drawing of a man on it. I assumed this is where the  Taughannock chainsaw murderer lives, and adding to the equation the fact that it was getting dark and that I have lost the trail markings once again, I started walking much faster.

Finally, I found the trail, and just as the sun was setting and I was positive I had been walking in circles, I found myself back at the car. I was saved!

I drove forever looking for a motel. When I finally found one, the office was close. So was next one. The third motel I found, in East Springfield NY, had a sign on the door of the office with a phone number. The dude on the other side of the phone told me to just go into room 8. The door was open and the key was on the table.