Day 2: Turlock->Madera

Motorcycle roadtripping trip #3: blog from your tablet
Whatever you're doing with your laptop when you're travelling, you can probably do it from your tablet. Blogging, however, requires lot of typing. This is why I got this cute, foldable, bluetooth keyboard from Perrix. It's great, cheap, and the only downside is that it does take a while to get used to.

I spent a few hours last night writing yesterday's blog on a Google doc, with Julia proofreading in real time (thanks, love!). If you have been reading the blogs from my previous trips, you may remember I posted them on Tumblr, which brings us to:

Motorcycle roadtripping trip #4: don't blog on Tumblr
There is simply no way, at all, to add images to your Tumblr blog if you're on a tablet. Not from the app, and not from the website. Seriously, Tumblr, you had one job.
I spent a few good hours in Christina's Coffee House this morning trying to resolve this, eventually posting on Blogger. It's not much better, mind you: the app will not let you add images either, and the mobile website sucks balls - but it's possible. It's also nice that you can select your image from your device's gallery, Google Drive, Dropbox, or take a picture on the spot.

When I was finally done and was about to leave, I realized it had started to rain. I forgot that I had to move south faster if I wanted to avoid the rainy weather that was expected for the weekend. I decided to ride anyway - I figured it would be better than being stuck in heavier rain.
The rain stopped around the time I got to Merced and I saw a sign for the Castle Air Museum. Although you get really wet when you ride in the rain without rain gear, you also get dry very fast.


And of course, right when I was about to leave, it started raining again. I decided to ride straight to Fresno, where it was supposed to be warmer.

I don't mind being wet as much as I don't like the urge to pee once my feet are wet. Why is that, anyway? Is my body so stupid, it thinks peeing is going make my situation any better? Does it go "oh no! There must be so much fluid in me, that it's oozing through the feet! Quickly! Drain it through the pee hole!" Intelligent design my ass. Evolution: 1. Creationism : 0.
And yes, I totally just reset the evolution-creationism score-board and claimed the first point. This is how vain I am.

It was dry when I arrived to Madera. I ate the rest of the strawberry cake that Julia made for me (sooo good!) and an apple, and since it started drizzling, decided to move quickly. In a weird way, I enjoyed racing the rain. I pretended it was a tornado and that this is a really bad movie.
However, just as I went back on the freeway, I saw a sign for the "Madera district street fair". Fine, I'll turn around.

Right outside of the Madera speedway lies the Quarter Midget Racing track, where tiny kids race with tiny cars. The races were just over, but the kids were still running around dressed as ninja turtles and Disney princesses. It must have been hilarious to watch them race cars dressed like that.


"But you can hang out for a couple of hours until the real races start," said one of the parents. "They smash pumpkins on the course and..."

I couldn't really parse what he said next. It was too weird. I just had to stay.
I killed some time and a couple of beers at some random bar. Then I got a room at the Super-8 that's just across the road from the race tracks, changed socks, and left for the races.
So this is how it goes:

Step one: smash pumpkins on the track.


Step two: wash with water and soap.


Step three: harness boats to race cars.


Step four:  race while trying to break other cars' boats. Last car to still have a boat - wins!


Next, we had a "Destruction Derby", where cars just smash into each other.

At the hamburger stand, the lady asked for my name. "Ian," I replied. She picked up a pen, and then stopped. "Is that with an I or an E?"
I think I need another Starbucks name. Is "Earl" to rednecky?

Speaking of rednecks - the emcee was one of the most annoying people I ever had the pleasure of being forced to listen to. In an attempt to kill time, he started to poll the audience. "Show of hands: who's drinking a Bud? Who's drinking PBR? Who came from from Fresno? Who lives here in Madera? Who's a veteran? Who's in active service? Oh, I almost forgot! Who is proud to be an American? You know, personally I don't like our current president, but I still think the USA is the best place to live in the world!"

I had a lot of questions, but I thought I better let it go.
Finally, we had a normal race, only every now and again, when they had to stop the race for various reasons, they would also put a boat in the middle of the track for the cars to smash into. You know, for good measure.

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